


The Angel From My Nightmare

by Rock_n_Fuckin_Roll



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Asshole Frank Iero, Blink-182 song title, But not so much of an asshole, But still an asshole, Depressed Gerard Way, Frank's an asshole, Frerard, Gerard doesn't understand, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Nightmare, The Angel - Freeform, The angel from my nightmare, angel - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-24
Updated: 2015-12-24
Packaged: 2018-05-08 19:35:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5510408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rock_n_Fuckin_Roll/pseuds/Rock_n_Fuckin_Roll
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Frank has been coming home late every night and Gerard has been wondering what's going on and why Frank continues to lie to him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Angel From My Nightmare

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rainbowflavouredfabulous](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainbowflavouredfabulous/gifts).



> DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE OR ANY OF THEIR MEMBERS, AND I ALSO DO NOT OWN 'I MISS YOU' BY BLINK-182.
> 
> A/N: I have nothing to say. Just enjoy the fic. :) Title comes from the second line in 'I Miss You' by Blink-182. This is also dedicated to my long time homie bromie Alex who totally deserves the world and shit and this is his birthday gift (along with three other late fanfictions I have promised.)
> 
> [Nov. 11, 2016-- A/N: Due to the fact there was some distress expressed by a commentor on this story for not including a warning, I will add one now. One of the main characters develops cancer, and that is just the forewarning. This story was built on the whole 'element of surprise,' but because someone was upset with the content, I will respect their wishes and I have added it in. Thank you.]

Frank peered into the darkness of the apartment, the only sliver of light coming from the bright fluorescent lights in the hallway. He quietly stepped inside and closed the door, leaving the place in complete darkness as he slowly took off his shoes.

Gerard sat patiently with a cup of warm coffee at their kitchen table, back towards the massive window with a view of the city. His back was dimly lit with the city lights, and it cast an eerie but beautiful glow in the room. But he didn't have time to admire the beauty when his hand was shaking and nervousness was building. 

He heard Frank come in, he always came in late, usually around midnight, even one in the morning, and Gerard always feared when Frank may not make it home. He saw Frank's barely visible outline and let a quiet breath release, knowing it was him and that he was okay.

But that didn't mean that Gerard was okay.

"Frank?" He called out, and he saw Frank's figure stop suddenly, as if frozen, and the tension stayed like that until Frank seemed to realize that he wasn't going to disappear anytime soon.

"Yeah Gerard?"

"You're back." Gerard said, his tone glad but also a hint sad. Frank didn't move. 

The silence continued.

"Where have you been?" Gerard asked, voice now more heavy with sadness as he thumbed the coffee mug sitting in front of him. 

"Out. Why?" Frank's monotone voice replied, and Gerard resisted the urge to shout or to cry. His right hand started playing with the silver band on his left hand ring finger.

"I just wanted to know, make sure you were okay." Gerard said, voice wavering and Frank let out a sigh.

"I'm a grown man, can't I go out and not be worried about or questioned?" Frank said, his body now turning to face Gerard, and Gerard's breath hitched.

"I guess." Gerard said, and Frank sighed again. 

"I'll be off. See you in the morning." Frank said, and his footsteps were heard as he went to their shared room and slammed the door. 

Gerard resisted the urge to cry.

\----

This had been going on for many nights, many months, and Gerard was certain it was already a year since Frank started coming home late.

At first, he didn't question it. I mean, Frank had every right to be late or go out, he was a grown man for Christ's sake! If Frank had to stay out late or wanted to, who was Gerard to stop him? 

But it got worse. Frank started coming home smelling faintly of cologne or perfume, and he never wore anything but deodorant. Some days, Frank came home looking like shit and his clothes slightly rumpled, and he smelled even worse every time. Gerard wouldn't question it so much if it wasn't for the fact it was screaming at him.

He didn't ask and never confronted Frank about it. He never told anyone about his suspicion, and he didn't dare to dwell too much on it. 

So he kept to himself. 

Frank stopped even having sex with him, and only complained that he was tired and wanted to sleep. He barely even kissed or greeted Gerard, and it just seemed like Gerard was alone in this fiasco that was going on with Frank. 

But he felt that if he told someone, he would be betraying Frank. And how could he? Why would he do the same thing back to Frank that Frank was doing to him? There was never a winner in this situation.

But it kept eating at Gerard, like a sickness that just wouldn't go away, and he had to tell someone, anyone.

So he called Mikey.

"Hey Gee, what's up?"

"It's Frank." Gerard said, and Mikey didn't speak.

"So what's up?" Mikey said, and Gerard sighed into the phone, putting his head in his free hand as he ran his hand through his hair.

"I think Frank's cheating on me."

"Did you ever stop to ask him?"

"No, why would I? It's not like he's gonna confess."

"How do you know?"

"I know Frank, and I know how cheaters think. They aren't just going to straight out confess if you ask them."

"Well, what are you going to do?"

"I don't know. I still think I need to confront him. I think I might..." Gerard stopped, his breath caught in his throat. "I think I might break up with him."

"What? Why? You've been married for so long!"

"I know." Gerard said, looking solemnly out the huge living room window. "But I don't know what to do."

"I bet there's a reasonable explanation for this. Why do you think that?"

"Because!" Gerard burst out, feeling the emotions he's been holding tumble out like an uncontrolled waterfall. "Because he comes home late and smells like cologne or perfume and he never hugs me or holds me or kisses me and he comes home a mess like he's been having sex with someone else and I don't know what to do because tell me Mikey, what other explanation is there for that?!" Gerard finished, breathing heavily into the phone to catch his breath. Neither spoke for a while until Mikey barely whispered.

"Go talk to him. Break it off." And the line went dead.

\----

Gerard had to wait late until Frank came home, like usual, and this time it didn't seem like Frank was trying to hide anything. He closed the door loudly and threw his jacket on the coat rack, and Gerard waited for him to finish before confronting him. 

"Frankie? We need to talk." Gerard said, and he knew that made Frank freeze. It wasn't that Gerard was there, waiting like he always did, but it was that he called Frank 'Frankie.' They haven't referred to each other by their nicknames since this fiasco started.

"What do you want Gerard?" Frank asked, turning towards Gerard and leaning against the hallway wall. The moon illuminated through the window and shone on Frank, casting his features in an soft glowing light. His face was set firm, arms crossed and his face was paler and thinner than usual, but Gerard still thought he was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

"Where do you go every night? Why do you stay out so late? I've kept my distance and given you privacy, but I want to know. We're together Frank, you can't keep secrets from me." Gerard said, standing up from his spot and moving over to Frank, who leaned back a little more. 

"I can't tell you that. I just can't." Frank said, and Gerard's jaw tightened. 

"Why, why not? Are you cheating on me? Is that what's going on?! Tell me you aren't." Gerard's voice and eyes pleaded as Frank looked down sadly. "Please." 

 "I can't tell you, and it's for your own good."

"That didn't answer the question Frank! Are you cheating on me or not? Are you--" Gerard rambled before Frank interrupted him, clearly annoyed.

"For fuck's sake Gerard, no I'm not! I'm not fucking cheating on you!" Frank said, raising his hands 

"Then what the hell's going on!?" Gerard demanded.

"Nothing that I can tell you."

"Is this thing so important to keep a secret from me that you can't even tell me?" Gerard asking, feeling his stomach tighten as he realized that maybe his tactic wasn't working. Was he going to loose Frank for good?

"Yes." Frank replied, voice not wavering. 

Gerard stepped back, the hand that was tempted to reach out to Frank stayed by his side and Gerard turned his head. He couldn't look at Frank anymore. Not like this.

"Fine. If this secret is so important to you, then... I guess we're done." Gerard said, lifting his head so his eyes could meet Frank, and Gerard's heart burned as he watched no change in emotion in Frank's face. Frank just stared at him with that blank, bored expression, as if he could do anything to get rid of Gerard, wearing his jeans and band t-shirt with his leather jacket that Gerard always loved seeing him wear. 

"How could you?" Gerard asked, his eyes shining with tears. 

"I can, and I did." Frank said, and Gerard brought his hands up to cover the tears as much as he could. But before he could go, Frank spoke up one last time.

"Trust me Gerard, this is for the best." And with that, Frank left.

\----

Frank left early in the morning. Gerard didn't even bother going to bed until way later, where he slept on the couch in his clothes for a few hours before moving to the bed and sitting on the farthest part of it, away from Frank as much as he could. Once Frank left, he started packing his things. He wasn't sure if he should pack Frank's things and throw them away or pack his own, but he couldn't do that to Frank. He still cared about him too much. He couldn't. His conscience wouldn't let him.

Gerard finished packing, but it was hard. Some of the things he put away were things Frank got him, or they were shared things. He didn't know what to do.

Vinyl records and crappy CDs that Frank made of bands that Gerard enjoyed stared at him from the side of their shared bedroom, with Gerard staring sadly at his open suitcase. He looked up and his eyes wandered the room.

It was nothing special. The color was plain white, like when they first got it, and they tried painting it once, but Frank kept on falling over into the paint and they kept on getting into messy fights, and so they gave up painting the room. But it was decorated with Frank's millions of posters and Gerard remembered seeing the little man on a step ladder hanging them up excitedly.

_"Gee, come on, put some of yours up! I can't be the only one here with posters." Gerard only chuckled at Frank's silliness and watched as the man happily splattered posters on the wall in an uneven, disorganized mess._

Gerard's hand came up slowly and touched one of the posters on the wall, before he pulled it away harshly. What was he doing? He had to get over Frank. It was obvious the man didn't want him around, and Gerard couldn't stand to see the man again look at him like he was dirt. No matter how much Gerard wanted to stay and help Frank whatever he was doing, but he couldn't stay. Not where he wasn't wanted.

Gerard finished packing and grabbed his suitcase and headed for the front door. He grabbed his jacket and was surprised to see the door open and Frank step in. Gerard paused, questioning Frank's presence, but it seemed the other man was more surprised than he was. He also seemed afraid, as if he was caught doing something wrong.

"G-Gerard, you're still here? I thought you would be gone." Frank said, hood pulled over his head and covering his face slightly, but he could still see Frank's questioning green eyes. 

"Yeah, I'm still here. Why?" Gerard asked, and now he was even more confused. What was Frank doing here? But as he quickly looked, he saw a little orange pill bottle in Frank's one clenched hand, and he looked up at Frank, eyebrows furrowed.

"Frank, what the actual hell is going on, and don't tell me some bullshit story." Gerard asked, and Frank sighed, face falling. He slowly slid past the door and closed it behind him, leaning against it while still clutching the pills. 

"Gerard, you have to leave."

"No, not until I get an explanation."

"Well what do you want to hear?"

"The truth!"

"Do you really wanna hear the truth? Do you think you can handle it?"

"What the hell Frank, what the hell are you talking about--"

"I have cancer Gerard!" Frank shouted, breathing heavily as silence enveloped them both. Gerard let out a little painful breath that he didn't know he held. "That's what the fuck's up." Frank continued, lifting his arms and dropping them in defeat. "Now you know. I don't even know why I told you, but--"

"That's what's been going on? You've been out late because of...?"

"I've been going to a support group and to the hospital for therapy, I... was going to tell you last night. But, I couldn't tell you the truth. I knew there was no hope for me. The doctors keep on putting me on drugs and giving me therapy and other shit but it... hasn't gotten better." Gerard swallowed, tears streaming down his face as he stared at the man he loved, slumped against the door in a huge hoodie and baggy jeans, and Gerard didn't know how he didn't see it. How could he do this to Frank? "I've been going to this support group. They've really helped, and made it easier. But I knew I couldn't tell you. It was easier for you to hate me and not care when I die than for you to love me and for me to go."

"How could you ever think that?! I love you Frank! Nothing will change that." Gerard cried, and he covered his face with his hands, curling up. Oh why was Fate so cruel to him? 

Gerard didn't know how he couldn't have guessed. How much did he not trust Frank that he thought the younger man was cheating on him? Of course Frank had fucking cancer. Frank had gotten paler and paler each day, and skinnier too. Gerard noticed more pill containers in their bathroom cabinet, and he shrugged it off as nothing. But they were painkillers. 

Frank smelled like cologne and perfume because of the other support group members. Frank always looked like shit because he just came back from surgery or whatever the hell they did to him in that hospital, he didn't tell Gerard because he didn't want Gerard to hurt when he _died_...

"You're going to die. You're going to fucking die." Gerard shouted, pulling his hands form his face, eyes red and face puffy from crying before he lowering his trembling voice, staring at Frank sadly. "Isn't that right?" 

Frank's silence was the only answer. Frank told him earlier anyway, _'it...hasn't gotten better.'_

Frank only moved over to Gerard and pulled him into a tight hug. Gerard was stiff before he relaxed and moved his arms slowly to wrap them around Frank.

He tried not to cry too much when he felt how skinny Frank was under the hoodie.

\----

Things were starting to look up between the two of them. Frank tried coming home earlier from group therapy, but Gerard insisted that if Frank needed it, he would be there to support him. Frank was also started to look better, he was gaining weight, and seemed happier every time he came home from group. He hugged Gerard and told him that he missed him, and Gerard never felt happier, knowing that he was there for Frank and that whatever happened, Frank would always love him.

Frank always kept him updated on his hospital visits and how they went. Gerard asked why he never tried chemo, and Frank said that in his case, it was more likely to worsen it than make it better. The only reason Frank was able to keep on going was because of the pain medication and drugs he was constantly taking. But Frank assured him that things were starting to look up, and the tumor growing inside of Frank, a disgusting growth that was slowly killing him, was slowly shrinking.

Frank had already gone through several surgeries during the period Gerard didn't know about Frank's cancer, and when Frank took off his shirt in front of Gerard for the first time in forever, Gerard could understand Frank's hatred of his body. It didn't mean that Gerard didn't love him any less.

Some scars looked like they were fresh, pink and red and slightly swollen, while others were long, white and the stitches were visible against Frank's pale skin. They looked awful, like Frank had gone to war, but Gerard knew it was a different kind of war Frank was facing.

"Don't try and tell me they're beautiful. They're not. They're ugly, and I know it. But...they're a part of me and show my strength, so even if I hate them, they're there." Frank said, grabbing his shirt and putting it back on quickly. Gerard didn't stop him and got up from his chair, pulling Frank into a hug. 

"I don't care if they're there. I love you, and those don't matter. I care about you, and if those scars help you heal and save you, then let them be." Gerard whispered, putting his face into Frank's shoulder and snuggling him tightly. Frank closed his eyes and hugged Gerard back.

Frank continued coming home from group, pills clutched in his hand and a smile on his face as he saw Gerard sitting there, waiting for him, day after day. 

\----

One day, Frank didn't wake up. 

.

.

.

.

All Gerard could do was scream. 

.

.

.

.

.

\----

Nobody called him. There was no funeral. Nothing happened. It was if time had stopped and there was nothing going on. He just felt numb. 

Frank was gone, and that was it. His one love was dead, six feet underground, rotting away in the dirt just like he rotted away from the cancer. Gerard didn't know what to do.

He just laid in their shared bed, curled up as he desperately clutched the now cold pillow that Frank used to use close to him.

\----

He got calls. From his brother, Ray, Bob and even from people he hadn't spoken to since he got married. 

He didn't bother deleting them. That would mean he would have to get up and move, and Gerard didn't even have the strength to do that. He just simply ignored them.

\----

 _"Hey Gee, I heard what happened bro, and I'm really sorry for your loss. He was our friend too you know. Please pick up."_ BEEP.

\----

 _"Gee, please pick up. I'm worried for you and I haven't seen you at all. I haven't even heard from you since you called me. I didn't even see you at the funeral. Please Gerard."_ BEEP.

\----

 _"Man, I know it's been rough, but Gerard please pick up. We're all worried: Mikey, Bob and me. Please we want to see you okay. Please answer."_ BEEP.

\----

 _"Gerard, please be okay. I haven't heard anything on the news but I have no way to know if you're okay please pick up, please please please, Gee, don't do this--"_ BEEP.

\----

The bus driver, on the bus heading to God knows where, thanked Gerard as Gerard dropped some coins into the slot for the fare. He pulled his suitcase behind him, the same one with which he wanted to leave Frank with, and one of Frank's own suitcases. Gerard then found an empty seat on the bus as the doors closed and the bus started, watching as the city and everything Gerard ever knew slowly started to fade away into pitch-black nothing. 

\----

When they went to visit him, they found the door unlocked, the house still in perfect shape with everything in its place, and Gerard, completely gone. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.


End file.
